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Parkinson’ Disease creeps its insidious ugliness into the lives of the family not only ‘the person’. “How does the spouse/partner of someone with Parkinson cope?”….many viewers have asked.
So, I sat down with Janet and Jim to peal the onion….Janet was extremely transparent. (No surprise).
Take listen to the podcast.
Zimbabwe our canine producer showing us how its done !!!!
Below is a note that Janet wrote to her work family in August 2022.
The last few years have clearly been challenging in many ways. I do not imagine there is a person in this room that has not faced unexpected tests either personally or professionally. I have been thinking recently about how easily our worlds shifted and how our paths may no longer be clear. My husband and I have pretty much mapped out our next 10-20 years together. Work, retirement, some traveling. However, it seems that the path we thought we were on was not the path that was chosen for us.
I met Jim Fraser on March 8, 1991. It was the first day of a new job with a department store and he worked on the dock. We crossed paths in HR and his smile almost stopped my heart. In October of that year, we had our first date have been together ever since. He is not only my soulmate, but also the best part of anything good in me. We have had a truly beautiful life together, with lots of plans for the future. It has been a wonderful journey.
Earlier this year, my husband Jim was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. It seemed that overnight the plans we had made for our future had become unclear and uncertain. The beautiful and confident man that I love so dearly was now afraid of the future, afraid of how his body was betraying him, afraid of his new path. I struggled to understand how best to support him without taking away his autonomy or treating him like a child. I am a person that fixes things. When problems arise either at home or at work, I fix them. I figure out a solution, take care of it, and move on. I quickly discovered that I cannot fix my husband. While I would take this burden from him if I could, I cannot.
The last few months have been a blur of doctor’s appointments, online research, medication trials, frustrations, and talking to others with this disease. His progression of symptoms is slow, but we are under no illusions that they will indeed progress. There have been a lot of tears, a lot of arguments, stress, and frustration. We have also learned how to better communicate with each other over what we each need. I am better able to recognize when he wants to talk or needs help or to let him be. He has learned that I have my own fears and frustrations when I cannot fix things for him. We deal with it all as it comes.
Throughout this, we realized we are lucky to have a very strong group of friends, family, and our work family to help us navigate through these uncertain times. I can lean on my team here when I need to take time to be with him. He has people he can vent to and share his fears. At the end of the day, we are united as we have never been before.
Together we have discovered that while our paths may have changed, we are still on the journey together. It is a different adventure than what we originally envisioned, but it is still our journey. We will take what comes together and forge ahead on the path that has now been set for us.
Janet Fraser: August 2022.
I have the pleasure of introducing you to our newest interning canine producer….Buddy Fraser.
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